On Raising Independent Kids: Interview with Erin Santangelo

Hey, everyone! Today in our interview series, I’m excited to share with you Erin Santangelo and her extremely useful tips on raising independent kids, even when they’re small. As a mother of three kids in three years, she has a unique perspective to bring to the table. And guess what? Even if you only have one child, you can glean some good ideas from her in this post.

Without further ado, here is my interview with Erin Santangelo on raising independent kids even when they seem too young.

Hi, Erin! I’m so glad you could join me on the Dressed Up Rustic blog today. Could you tell everyone who you are and some of your story?

Hi! I’m Erin Santangelo, but I blog under just the name Casey. I’m the mom of three little ones. Two boys that are 3 and 2, and a baby girl who is 1. Yes, that’s three in 3 years and that’s what I blog about. Surviving motherhood when you have little ones close together. We are a Christian family trying to bring up our kids to be responsible productive members of society that love God.

Yes, same here, Erin! We have the same goal at our house, too. Tell us about your blog.

My blog focuses on moms with kids 18 monthsish or less apart and the best ways I’ve found to navigate simple tasks that are suddenly 10x harder with little ones around. I also cover how to handle a lot of milestones when you have 2 or more so close together. I started writing in January as my daughter was about to turn 1 and I realized we had survived 5 months of 3 under 3 and 7 months of 3 three and under. A conversation with my brother got me thinking about how moms with little ones so close go through some unique struggles. His kids are 6 (nearly 6.5) years apart. So he never faced the situation of being in a store when you have a cart full groceries and a not even 2 yr old who has to walk because there simply isn’t any room left and baby brother is in the seat.

After talking with other moms of two in 2 or three in 3 I realized there was a need to talk about these unique challenges with other moms who understand.

I cover everything from feeding your family and organizing the house to dealing with what to do when you have a kid in a crib and another on the way.

That’s a great topic for a blog. I have twins toddlers, and that has its challenges, and I’m sure three under three has many unique ones, as well! People will benefit from the advice you give, not just on raising independent kids but in other areas, too. How do you work toward balancing all of your “spinning plates” from day to day?

One of the most important things I do to keep our family from being in a total state of chaos is routines. We have lots of routines at our house and all those routines help keep the chaos at bay. We have morning routines and evening routines, bedtime and wakeup routines. Without them our house would be madness all the time. My husband and I work hard to parent together and to help each other in areas where the other is not as strong. He is really into fitness and nutrition, so he keeps me healthy. He isn’t so into dishes, so I do those.

One of the most important things we have done is taught our kids independence. Having them be able to do things on their own without constant supervision frees up my time to do other things and even sneak in a little creative work as well.

One of the areas we have taught them to be independent in is getting dressed for the day on their own. This is something we have been teaching them since they were infants and it is long process if they are young but if you have little ones are that are preschool age it can be taught in a much shorter time span. 

My one-year-old daughter is already in the process of learning to get dressed on her own. Whenever you put a shirt or dress on her she knows to start trying to put her arms through. A very small amount of guidance in the actual hole and she can get her arms in her sleeves on her own at 1 year old.

My sons are now able to do the entire process on their own. My 3 year is now at the point where he also looks out the window and dresses based on the weather he sees.

However, this process requires a certain amount of organization on my end so that their rooms do not end up a disaster every time they get dressed. Apparently, what I do is very Marie Kondo, but I assure you I started organizing their drawers in this manner long before I knew who she was let alone that I use the same methods to some extent.

I start with a set of box drawer organizers. If you happen to have an Ikea near by and their organizers fit in your drawers, they have a set for about $6 that comes with 2 large size square boxes, 2 medium rectangular boxes, and 2 small square boxes. Between my two boys they each have 2 complete sets in their drawers. We had to order different ones for my daughter because she has an antique style dresser with much shallower drawers.

I started with those organizers with their baby clothes in them, so they have morphed over the years. Right now, in their bottom drawers they each have two large boxes. One holds tank tops and short sleeve play shirts. The next box holds their long sleeve shirts and their nicer collared shirts. This makes it clear to them where to go in their drawers most mornings. We live in Southern California so honestly there are only a handful of days you can’t just throw a jacket over short sleeves and call it a day. This also gives them clear boundaries of what they are NOT allowed to wear if I ask them to put on a nice shirt. They know exactly where to go to find those.

There is a bit of extra space around the two boxes. This space actually fits the other two sizes quite nicely but I opt just to use the space as is instead of purchasing an additional set of dividers. Tucked in the back are off season jammies. We can have 90-degree Christmases here so shorts and a t-shirt are almost always a sleeping choice. During the summer I like to have their warm jammies accessible because we enjoy camping in the mountains, and it can get quite chilly at night still. Their everyday sweatshirts are next to the boxes.

In their middle drawer are their pajamas, socks, and bottoms. Pajamas tops and bottoms all end up in the same middle size box. Socks go in another medium box. Shorts in yet another. Pants are in a large size box and the smaller boxes house overflow of either shorts in the summer or pants in the winter. My older son now plays Tball so his small boxes hold his practice and uniform pieces.

Their top drawer holds their underwear, unceremoniously tossed into a box by them (yup they have to help put away their own laundry). As well as a few other miscellaneous items. My younger son still wears pullups to bed, so he has a stash in his top drawer.

It’s not enough just to have them organized into separate areas though. I think the real trick that helps them to get dressed without make a huge mess each morning is the way I fold and then store the clothes. This is where I get very Marie Kondo.

I fold their shirts in thirds as shown in the picture and then tuck the top third into the bottom third. This helps prevent the shirts from unfolding so easily when removed from the drawer and allows my sons to be able to put them back away on their own.

I also store the shirts in rows verses in columns (see picture). This allows the boys and me to find whatever shirt we are looking for with ease. I can also quickly assess if the shirt is clean or in the dirty clothes. If I don’t see it, it’s in the dirty clothes. No more lost time spent looking for a favorite shirt only to discover it’s not in the drawer at all but instead is dirty. No more fussing because they were sure it was somewhere in the drawer. Plus, it makes it easy from them to see all their shirts and choose one to their liking. They don’t have to pull out a bunch of shirts to see what they have.

I do a similar setup with their shorts and pants. I used to roll them, but they always came undone. Now I fold and tuck much like their shirts. Keeps them folded until they are actually ready to wear them and keep the drawers neat and tidy. No more hunting around for the matching pants to that sweatshirt. They are right there and easily seen.

This really is a huge part of why they can get dressed with little to no supervision. Not only have they been taught how to dress themselves from the time they were infants, but their drawers are organized so they have a chance to succeed on their own.

This method does not mean there aren’t days where every shirt is out of the drawer and every pair of pants on the bed. However, those days are few and far between for us because there is no reason to get all those clothes out all the time.

This information is golden, and I’m definitely going to apply these ideas to my kids’ room, too. Love it! So tell us, with three in three years, how do you incorporate your creativity into the busyness of everyday life?

I love to make fun items with my Cricut. Sometimes it’s a shirt that I cut the design for and then screen print. Other times it’s a vinyl decal for the wall or even to label something for my boys. My son’s water bottles don’t just have their names, they have their names cut out of monster trucks. I love being able to add those personal fun touches throughout the house. I also love cutting out stickers for my planner and decorating it. That gives me a nice chunk of time to be creative each week to set that up.

Oh, fun! I’ve been seeing a lot of things made with Cricuts lately, and I think it would be a lot of fun to own one. 🙂 For our creative homemakers out there (or one that wants to be!), what other advice would you share?

It’s ok for you to figure out what works best for your family, even if it seems absolutely ludicrous to another family. We used to let my oldest stay up till 10p as a baby because of when my husband would get off work and get home. That would literally be the only time they had together on the days he worked so it was important to us. People thought we were nuts. However, we made his schedule work so that he was up to see daddy when he got home. Some of my favorite pictures and my husband’s favorite memories are in those hours when our little guy was up “late” to see daddy. Don’t let what others think you “should” do keep you from doing what is best for your family.

Good advice. It’s so easy to think we “have” to do certain things, when really, we just need to step back and see our families for who they are and what they need. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

I wholeheartedly agree! We read a lot here, too, and do different kinds of art. Thank you so much, Erin, for sharing with us how to help your children find a sense of independence, even when they’re small. Kids really are amazing, aren’t they? They can do so much more than sometimes we give them credit for.

To learn more about Erin, and the encouraging posts she’s bringing to the world, check out her information below.